It's Odd for Me to Care
by impression
Summary: Duo's internal monologue while being Death. He talks about getting to know Heero.


It's Odd for Me to Care  
by Minako  
  
Well, I left my manga at home, so I didn't get to check the  
actual writer of it... Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing doesn't in any way  
shape or form belong to me (though I wish I had a Duo) ^_^  
  
-------  
  
Have you ever killed anything? What's it like? Does it hurt to   
do it? Emotionally, I mean. I have killed, though I don't know what  
it's like. I don't feel the way people do, I don't care the way people  
do, and nothing matters to me. No one matters to me. Well, no one used  
to matter to me. That doesn't matter though.   
  
I can be anyone you know. Your friend, the guy next door, that  
annoying little punk who threw eggs at your house last week. I could be  
anyone. People never expect me to be who I am. Sometimes I find it  
amusing how little people really see, but that's just me, and I am  
cruel.  
  
I have been called that many a time. A cruel angel with no  
sense of mercy, that's me. The choices you may think you have are taken  
away by me with no second thought, I honestly don't care. Or, maybe I  
did, once, and maybe I do, now, just not the same way you do, perhaps  
you don't understand, but that doesn't matter.  
  
You learn that quickly while talking with me, very little in  
life actually matters. You can be remembered for years and years after  
you die, and it doesn't matter. You've still died, and nothing but  
yourself matters, that's what I always believed. I never thought this  
truth could be changed, I never believed my point of view could be  
changed, but it can be, and it has been.  
  
You see, I met this person, he was a nobody. He was quiet, and  
almost emotionless, like myself, though in a way, he was louder than I  
was. I think it's because I could blend in better than he could. I'm  
one of those people that everyone wants to talk to, I can listen to  
anything anyone says, and it won't bother me, no matter how terrible it  
is, because I don't care, but they don't know that.  
  
That doesn't matter, it's not what I was talking about. He was  
very quiet in a loud way. He glared at people, and was very hostile  
towards everyone, without saying anything. Sometimes I would wonder how  
he managed it, but it didn't matter, like I said, very few things  
really do. I decided to try to change this person, it was something for  
me to do in my free time, and I needed something to do. I get bored  
easily, have I mentioned that?  
  
Yes, I decided that he would have to become more of an open  
person, so I followed him around. I teased him, and talked to him. He  
would usually ignore me, though occasionally I would get death threats.  
I always found that amusing. Him threatening me of all people with  
death. This went on for quite a while, and I didn't seem to be able to  
get through to him. Then slowly, very slowly, it seemed he was opening  
up. He no longer threatened death on me, just told me to shut up, and  
I'd even spotted him smiling once or twice. The strange thing was, that  
I found I felt happy. Well, I think it was happy, I'm never too sure  
about these emotions people have.   
  
He was my only friend for a while, and then, like all other  
humans, he died. He was rather young when he died, and I actually found  
that I was sad when he died. That I definitely found odd. Me, of all  
people, feeling sad over the death of someone, but that was the way it  
was, and it's still the way it is, I miss him you know.   
  
What relevance does that little story of mine hold? Short and  
badly told as it was? I found that his life did matter to me, and I  
began to wonder if this worked for most people, not just the famous  
ones. If one person could live on in casual stories told to one's  
family late at night. It had never occurred to me before. It was very  
strange.  
  
Then, something even stranger occurred to me, what if I held  
relevance in someone's life? Would I be important? Would I matter? I  
find it odd that a person like me, who is truly detached, and truly  
cares about no one could matter. Then again, I find a lot of things  
relating to humans odd. Although, suddenly, I'm beginning to find a lot  
of things about myself odd. How can I say I care about no one when he  
made such a huge impact on me? Yes, it is strange, very odd. I love  
that word, it explains everything perfectly. It's odd that the sun  
would happen to shine. It's odd that the Earth just happened to end up  
with these humans living on it. It's odd that these humans seem to  
think they rule all. It's odd that one mere human could make me think  
so much. It's odd that death could care.  
  
-------  
  
Ok, most of the things I wrote in grade ten were like this. I'm  
convinced that the only reason I got the English award was because my  
teacher was afraid I was suicidal ^_^ nah, it wasn't that bad. But  
everything I wrote was like this... I was on a real Gundam W, Duo fix  
at the time ^_^ ANYWAY, C&C are welcome, kind crits are ok, but flames  
make me cry. 


End file.
